Driving is one of those things we all do almost without thinking. We hop in the car, fasten our seatbelt, start the engine and head off. But somewhere between passing your driving test and becoming an experienced motorist, we all seem to pick up a collection of slightly odd habits that somehow become completely normal.
The funny thing is, most of us think we're the only ones who do them.
Spoiler alert: we're not.
Picture the scene. You've found the last available parking space outside the supermarket, it's a little tighter than you'd like, and suddenly... the radio has to go off.
Not down a little. Off.
For reasons nobody can quite explain, turning the music down seems to make reversing infinitely easier. It doesn't actually improve your parking skills, of course, but somehow your brain becomes convinced it can "see" better in complete silence. It's one of those unwritten rules of driving that almost everyone follows without even realising.
Cars don't answer back (thankfully), but that doesn't stop us talking to them.
"Come on... just one more journey."
"Please don't put the engine light on today."
"You've chosen a brilliant time for that noise."
Whether it's encouraging an ageing car through another MOT or pleading with it not to break down before your holiday, we've all had a one-sided conversation with our vehicle at some point. It's probably harmless... although the neighbours might disagree.
Every driver has their own definition of "running low." Some people panic when the gauge drops below half a tank, while others happily ignore the warning light because they're convinced there's "loads left." We've all played the game of trying to work out just how many miles are really left after the fuel light comes on. It's a game that's much more exciting than it needs to be.
There's also an unwritten law in Britain that goes something like this: wash your car today, and it will rain tomorrow.
It never seems to fail.
You spend an hour making your pride and joy sparkle, polish the wheels until you can see your reflection, stand back to admire your hard work... and then wake up the following morning to find it covered in rain spots, road spray and what appears to be every bird in the county taking aim at your freshly cleaned bonnet.
Coincidence? Perhaps.
Annoying? Definitely.
Then there are those moments when you miss a turning. Some drivers simply turn around. The rest of us continue driving for another ten minutes pretending we always intended to take the scenic route, while the sat nav patiently announces, "Recalculating."
Again.
There's something strangely reassuring about pretending you've got everything under control, even when you're heading in completely the wrong direction.
And what about that mysterious noise?
One day your car is perfectly quiet. The next, you hear the faintest little rattle. Suddenly the radio is off, the windows are closed and you're driving like a detective trying to solve a mystery.
Is it the engine?
The suspension?
A wheel bearing?
Or is it simply the reusable shopping bag rolling around in the boot?
Nine times out of ten it's something completely harmless, but that doesn't stop us mentally pricing up a new gearbox before we've even reached home.
Service stations have their own strange powers too. You pull in because you need fuel, but somehow leave with a coffee, a sausage roll, a family-sized bag of sweets, bottled water and a packet of chewing gum. The fuel may have cost £60, but you've somehow managed to spend another £18 inside the shop without really knowing how. Service stations seem to operate under completely different economic rules to everywhere else.
For all the little annoyances, most of us secretly love our cars. We might complain when they need servicing, sigh when another warning light appears or grumble about fuel prices, but they're there for family holidays, first jobs, moving house, supermarket runs and countless everyday memories. Some even earn nicknames along the way.
Driving has never just been about getting from A to B. It's about singing far too loudly to songs from ten years ago, celebrating when you nail a tricky parking space first time, arguing with the sat nav when you're convinced you know a better route, and convincing yourself that the fuel light can definitely wait until tomorrow.
So next time you instinctively turn the radio down while parking, have a quiet word with your car before a long journey, or convince yourself that strange noise has "always been there", don't worry.
You're not a strange driver.
You're just a normal one.